


Steamed hams but it’s fanfiction

by Maqaron



Category: The Simpsons, simpsons
Genre: Krusty burgers, Steamed, The Simpsons - Freeform, hams, simpsons - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-03 13:45:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14570289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maqaron/pseuds/Maqaron
Summary: Alternative title “Mr . Skinner steams your H A M S





	Steamed hams but it’s fanfiction

Seymour had invited you to a luncheon for what reason? one you did not know.  
you found it quite endearing how much he tried to impress you though. He was a good meaning man with good intentions, so why not go?  
It’s just free lunch.

You found youself quite lost though. His directions were not clear and you ended up walking for 30 minutes on what was supposed to be a 15 minute walk.  
The wine you were bringing to the luncheon would be quite warm by the time you'd reach his house.

Eventually you did.

Arriving at his house and after knocking(four times as he's told you too before, so he knows its you) he opened the door

He was smiling seemingly quite pleased with himself

"Well seymour, I made it-despite your directions"

He paid no mind to your sour comment.

"Ahh, youve made it. Welcome- I hope your prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

You responded with a short and quick "yeah". You knew you were being quite discouteous but he's ended making you walk in the hot sweltering Springfield sun, and you had worked up quite an appetite.

He walked to his dinning area and he followed after, stopping at your side of the table to pull you chair out for you. Seymour had always been a gentleman.  
He went off into the kitchen presummably to check on the steamed hams you'd be having.While waiting on his return you sat the wine youed brough into the bucket that was placed on the table with two skinny wineglasses right next to it.

After a few minutes you heard some shouting and decided to check up on HIm, and see if he was alright.

When you walked in the kitchen a scence you did not expect to see was right infront of you. Seymour Skinner with his leg up on the windowsil

"Ah-" you'd started but instead of finishing that thought you could only think to scream

"SEYMOUR!"

"Ah I was just-uh streatching my calves on the windosil. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?

Before you could answer smoke caught your eye

"Why is there smoke comingout of you oven seymour?" he wasnt even gone that long there was no way he couldve burnt the hams.

He paused, but just for a moment

"uh-oh, that isnt snoke. It’s steam fromt he steamed clams we're having mhmm.'

He rubbed his stomach robustly

Something was off with Seymour, but you didn't question it. Too tired from the walk. So you went back to the table to wait for seymour. He arrived back to the dining area with a plate full of delictable looking hamburgers.

“Hamburgers?”

Werent you having steamed clams?

"I thought we were having steamed clams?

"oh, no. I said steamed hams. Thatsb what i call hamburgers."

You knew Seymour was an eccentirc guy, but steamed hams?

"You call hamburgers steamed hams? you asked Skeptically.

"Yes. It's a regional dialect.”

"uh huh. What region?" you werent buying whatever he was trying to sell.

"Uh huh. Uh, what region?

"Upsate New York" he asnwered

You were actually born and raised in Utica and never once did you hear anybody calling hamburgers steamed hams"

"Really? Well, Im from utica and i've never heard the phrase "steamed hams."

He faltered.

"Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression."

Whatever 

" I see. " You began to eat your burger. You noticed it stated quite familiar you couldn't put your finger on it, until it hit you. “You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger." You couldnt help but question him. Infact there was a krusty burger not to far from his house

"Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe."

What type of fool did he take you for?

"For steamed hams?" 

"yes" 

"Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled." 

He paused again, before beggining to stutter 

"Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second." 

"Of course" 

He stood up and dissapered into the kitchen leaving you a the table all alone once agian, but only for a second befre returning 

"Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped." He said while yawning and strecthing an obvious sign that the luncheon as over. 

You decided not to push ,and just leave before somehting caught your eye. 

"Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped." 

You noticed his kitchen was red and burning like an inferno. 

He stood there sheepishly before replying "Aurora borealis." 

Now he just wasnt making any sense what-so-ever. 

"Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen?" 

"yes" 

Interesting. Might as well check it out 

"May I see it" 

"No" 

He walked you to the door you were about to levae before you heard his mother shouting 

"Seymour! The house is on fire!" 

"No, Mother. It's just the northern lights." 

His problem, not yours. you might well leave now before things got out of hand 

"Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham." 

He smiled 

You began to walk away hearing his mother screamming help.

You ignored it and walked away from the burning inferno that was Seymour skinner’s House


End file.
